Box Floods
All you need is an address and an online postal account. Within a week
or two, your slave will receive thousands upon thousands of boxes. They
will litter his front yard and piss off neighbors. He won't be able to
get rid of them easily without dealing with the post office, and they
will probably call the cops on the slave for mail fraud.
Step 1: Create an account on USPS.com using a valid email.
http://www.mailinator.com or
http://www.guerrillamail.com can be used for this. It provides e-mail addresses without the need to sign up.
Step 2: Go to USPS's store and
order all the FREE boxes and mailing envelopes. Protip: order many small
packs rather than fewer large packs (e.g. packs of 10 instead of packs
of 25)
Step 3: Confirm the address and purchase.
You can order up to 20 free packs on a single account. So if you're not
fucking retarded, you can see that one account can be used to send 600
boxes. Multiple accounts are no trouble at all, so make sure to send a
few thousand.
That's it. Easy and bound to cause the slave lots of headaches.
Fast Food Bomb
Fast Food Bombing (notably pizza) is a lulzy way of causing grief for
your target, all from the comfort of your Mom's basement. Fast food
bombing consists of sending copious amounts of fast food to a target.
The food is delivered to the target's place of residence or business,
where they will have to deal with a delivery order of 4 large pepperonis
and a side of Coke and garlic bread.
PROTIP: Some companies will not
allow you to send too much to one place at any given time. Therefore,
only send a typical amount of food. Also, don't send food first thing in
the morning, as that is too suspicious.
PROTIP: If there are several fast food companies near your target, have each bring a few pizzas.
Ordering by phone
See Prank calls for tips on how to stay anonymous and not get angry fast food companies coming after you.
Ordering over the Internet
Potentially the lulziest method, also the easiest.
MAKE SURE YOU USE A PROXY!!!
Pizza Hut
Domino's
Junk Mail
Everybody hates junk mail. Spread it. You'll have to be a little
creative with this, though. A lot of websites and newsletters now make
you confirm your address before sending thousands upon thousands of
emails. So if your slave is in control of the email still, to start
receiving the junk you send to him he'll probably have to confirm it.
There are still some websites who send out junk mail without
confirmation:
Spam Links: http://partyvan.info/wiki/Spam_List
Order shit for them: http://www.shitsenders.com/order/
But there is always the option of signing them up for [gay] porn
sites/newsletters, since everyone in porn is a greedy motherfucker and
would sell your email address to spammers if they got their smutty hands
on it.
Even more points if you sign him up for a shit load of IRL newsletters (preferably gay porn).
IRL Mail
Gore Mail: Simple enough; just send
pages of gore to your enemy through the mail. Make sure to vary the
hand writing on the envelopes and the return address so they all look
different, otherwise the target will just throw them away. A good tactic
is to make the envelopes look official with the logos and such of your
victims local council/government/tax office/police station.
SRS BZNS Mail: Make up some legit
looking envelopes and letterheads. Send your slave letters of
repossession, traffic fines, hearings about suspected income tax fraud,
or send them to court. Be creative.
USPS Redirect: Goto a post office,
say you are moving, or you are new to the area and need to redirect your
mail temporally. They will give you an envelope/postcard to fill out
and drop in any mailbox. To the best I know, there is no checking done
on the part of the USPS. Redirect mail from P.O. Boxes and rural and
carrier routes as well.
Business reply mail: This type of
mail is similar to the above methods, except requires templates that
conform to that postage systems standards. This type of mail as opposed
to regular mail is good because:
It can be sent without a return address (nobody questions it.)
All the cost goes to the person it is being sent to (send them lead weights if you want.)
It looks srs.
Tampons
If the target has a sense of humor, these are just about as annoying as
anything else you could sign them up for. However, if the target is
lacking in the humor department, this is quite possibly the best weapon
we have at our disposal other than gay porn.
Craigslist
Craigslist has the ability to really fuck up someone's life. Every day
thousands of people visit Craigslist to check classified ads. Can you
see where we're going with this?
Craigslist is the obvious choice but don't forget that Myspace has a classified ads section as well.
Epic Idea #1: Post that "you"
are having a garage sale. You are moving and everything needs to go.
You'll have an HDTV there for $50, a stereo set for $100 and many other
cheap ass high-end things. Steal pictures off the internet of "your
items" for lulz. Enter your slave's address, and choose a date over the
weekend. On those days your slave will have strangers coming to his
house constantly asking for cheap stuff. Sometimes even the POLICE get
involved. Why? Police track down thefts. If your slave is selling a
bunch of high-end merchandise, it's likely the police will check it out.
Epic Idea #2: Post to
Craigslist that you are selling "your" car. Make it cheap, something
like a 1999 Ford F-250 for $2000 because it needs a new paintjob or
something. Make sure to post "your" phone number! Be creative!
Epic Idea #3: Post a personal
ad that conflicts with "your" sexual identity. Normally, this is best
done by posting in the men seeking men section. You need to write an ad
that is both believable and hawt so people will reply to it. Steal some
pictures of "yourself" and "your" dick because ads with dick pics get
more replies. Post "your" phone number and make sure you say in your ad
how urgently you need to get laid. Soon enough "you" will have half the
leather daddies in town calling "you" up. If you add that "you" are
currently still in the closet and that denying that "you" are gay really
means there are people around who "you" haven't come out to yet then
you can get your unwitting partners in harassment to keep coming back to
bother the mark waiting for them to be alone, if the goddess of lulz is
on your side this could even produce an argument between the person
responding to "your" personal ad and the mark's friends and or family
about tolerance towards the marks true sexuality.
Epic Idea #4: Your own idea.
Traditional Classifieds
Almost every newspaper out there lets you call in the ad you want to
have in the paper and then they send you a bill for it. In other words,
it's free. Look in your local paper and judging from the ads that are in
there, think up something that would be a really hot item to sell such
as a house for rent. (Houses and cars usually get the best results.)
Call the paper and tell them that you're Robert Paulson and you want to
put an ad in the paper. Have something ready like, "Nice 3 bedroom, 2
bath, garage, den, dining room, great neighborhood, $300/month,
$200/deposit." Compare your ad to the others in the "For Rent" section
and be sure that yours is the very best deal in there.
As a phone number to call to inquire about the house, leave two. "Call
Robert Paulson anytime 24 hrs at 635-8312 or 635-9207." The first being
his work phone number and the second being his home. Now when an awesome
deal like you've put in the paper is seen, it gets a tremendous
response. I'm talkin' about his telephone ringing constantly for two
days straight at the least.
He'll get in big trouble with his boss at work for receiving 2 billion
calls. Even if he's able to convince his boss that he wasn't
responsible, he'll still look bad. I mean, what would your boss think
about all this happening? If he lives with his parents, he'll probably
get in trouble with them too.
You may want to consider translating your ad into another language and
contacting a foreign language newspaper. In some areas there may be a
local paper in, for example, the Russian language. The slave will get
phone calls from people who may not speak fluent English, causing them
to argue in vain with someone unable to understand them.
Personal Ads
There are a lot of fucked up lonely people out there. Sign your slave up
to internet dating sites, and make sure you post your slave's
information publicly. He will have calls and random people coming up to
his house - possibly even rapists or thieves.
Craigslist has a Personal Ads section. Have fun with it.
Public Toilet Personal Ads
If you have the targets mobile phone number, write in on the wall of a
public toilet in a message similar to this "Hi, Im [name], [age], 11
inch uncut, seeking mature males for good time. Call: 04XX XXX XXX".
Extra points if you do this to toilets that are known for gay
soliciting.
Magazine Subscriptions
This one is pretty simple and even normal people do it to prank friends.
Magazine subscriptions are easy to get, and paying for them requires no
credit card - just the person's address.
Step 1: Go to a book store or
any place that sells magazines. You may also have some magazines you've
already purchased or have in your collection, you can use those too.
Step 2: Rip out all the
"Subscription" note cards. They're those flimsy little square pieces of
paper that fall onto the floor when you are trying to read your
magazine.
Step 3: Fill out the "Subscription" note cards in ink with a different style of handwriting. Put your slave's address and name on them.
Step 4: Put them in your local mail collector box. All of them should have "Paid Postage" - no stamps needed.
TL;DR - Get subscription note cards, fill them out with slave's info, mail them to magazine company.
Yellow Pages
This is probably one of the best things to do and can even become a
major news event in your area. You pull out the 'ole phone book and open
it up to the yellow pages. Now, starting from the letter "A" and
working all the way to "Z" call up every single business in the book.
Set up an appointment with every company in there for (example)
Wednesday morning at about 10:00. Give yourself a few days to do it all
and get all the appointment as close together as you can.
You can probably see what's going to happen. Wednesday morning at 10:00
his street is going to be totally filled up with a truck from every
business in the entire area. From exterminators to furnace repair to
roofing estimates, they'll all be there asking for Chris. (Try to make
sure he's going to be home when they come.)
On Wednesday morning you'll want to make some calls. At 9:30 call up
every pizza delivery place in the area and have a couple large pizzas
sent to Chris. After that, call up all the taxi cabs and instruct them
to come to your house to take you shopping.
Tuesday night you'll also want to make some calls. Every T.V. station
and newspaper in the area will want to know that "something big is going
to happen on Sullivan street" in the morning. Don't tell them what,
just tell them that they'd be stupid not to get coverage on something
like this. Also call up all your friends and have them call up their
friends. Instruct them all to show up on Sullivan street at about 9:45
am.
As this will be an historical moment, bring a video camera and tape the
whole event just in case you're not happy with the camera work of the
T.V. stations. You might want to call in a false report to the fire
department that Chris's house is on fire just to get them there and add
to the confusion.
Crime Tips
This is a bit harder to pull off with no guarantee of follow-through,
but it can be a great way to ruin someone's life. There have been
stories of police teams busting in and wrecking someone's place looking
for a "lead" that was offered to them. Police often have really crappy
judgment.
First find the local police station in your slave's town. Google some
local news. Find some stories about hit and runs, or recent unsolved
murders. Things that happened within the last two weeks. Call their
police station and offer an Anonymous tip. There are many things you can
tell the police. Such as "my friend has an unexplained dent in the
front of his car" or "he's been really on edge lately telling me about
something he did that was really, really bad. I want to get him help."
With any luck this can offer epic lulz, a totally ruined life, and a bunch of news coverage.
PROTIP: Police will often require
more than one "informant" before they go to the hassle of obtaining a
warrant, planning the raid, getting their overtime approved, etc. So
work with someone on this, be sure not to give the same information
word-for-word, as police may catch on.
1-800-COLLECT
For this you need to find more detailed information so they'll accept it
and pay some ass-raping fees. Pretend to be a family member, and try to
keep them on as long as possible (they'll probably hang up after 2
seconds flat, honestly, but if you're good...). Start a collect call.
When the operator asks for your name, they'll be recording what you say
so they can inject it into a pre-recorded sound byte that says something
like "Will you accept a collect call from..." so you end up with "Will
you accept this message from 'Fuck you, David'" or whatever other
message you can fit into the short time they give you to say your name.
Only useful for being annoying/making threats, doesn't accomplish
anything else. If you're a British, the equivilant is 0800-REVERSE (0800
7383773).
Ruin a Marriage
Collect information about a married man that you know. Get a girl to
call his house. If the wife answers, hang up. Do this another time. On
the third time, ask for the guy. This will cause lots of suspicion. Keep
this up for a month and see his marriage ruined. Also, send sexy gifts
to his house, like used panties and love notes. Put in details about the
guy so that the wife will think it's legit.
Purchase Orders
Corporations don't buy things by actually paying for them, they send out
a PO, which is just a promise to pay later after the goods or services
have been rendered. This is standard business practice.
Take an anonymous prepaid credit card
Buy an anonymous VoIP fax service
Obtain a professional looking form from a print shop
Fax POs through tor
Most companies will ship no questions asked after receiving a PO.
Said companies will come after your target and sue them and ruin their
credit, and they'll have fucking tons of shit that they don't know what
to do with
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